[Alucard was right, he thinks absently, face still hot and breath still ragged even though he hasn't even done anything, hardly, but be present as a witness. He was right, it's wet and a mess, and for a second all he can imagine are the days Alucard spent alone, trapped in his own house because of this, frustrated and hungry and alone.
Not anymore, something inside him insists almost savagely. Not anymore. It's going to be good for him now. He's going to feel better.
(His Alucard is a thought that floats past insidiously, and he doesn't think about it too hard.)
So he nods instead, waving Star away as he fishes for wherever he'd left the remote when they'd started rearranging themselves, and he knows that the right thing to do would be to hand it over to Alucard and let him do it himself. This isn't about him, it's about Alucard. He should let Alucard have control over it.]
If you bite me by mistake — [His own voice comes out so thick, it startles him a little.] — don't worry about it. Got it?
[Like a man possessed by an urge he can't explain or deny, he thumbs the remote's switch, eyes fixed on Alucard's face, and keeps it locked tight in his hand, unwilling to surrender it.]
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[Alucard was right, he thinks absently, face still hot and breath still ragged even though he hasn't even done anything, hardly, but be present as a witness. He was right, it's wet and a mess, and for a second all he can imagine are the days Alucard spent alone, trapped in his own house because of this, frustrated and hungry and alone.
Not anymore, something inside him insists almost savagely. Not anymore. It's going to be good for him now. He's going to feel better.
(His Alucard is a thought that floats past insidiously, and he doesn't think about it too hard.)
So he nods instead, waving Star away as he fishes for wherever he'd left the remote when they'd started rearranging themselves, and he knows that the right thing to do would be to hand it over to Alucard and let him do it himself. This isn't about him, it's about Alucard. He should let Alucard have control over it.]
If you bite me by mistake — [His own voice comes out so thick, it startles him a little.] — don't worry about it. Got it?
[Like a man possessed by an urge he can't explain or deny, he thumbs the remote's switch, eyes fixed on Alucard's face, and keeps it locked tight in his hand, unwilling to surrender it.]