[His touch, to his credit, does help. Having him there, as a solid, living breathing being to hold and cling to makes her feel safe when she feels anything but. He says he thinks it's possible, that they can mend the rift between them, but she's not so sure. She wants to try, she's so desperate for her sister's affections and yet...
She presses her face into Adrian's chest even closer. He says it matters and she wants to believe it does. She wants to believe that she matters when right now she feels very much like a blight upon the world and everyone's lives that she's infected with her presence.]
I know you've been working hard to behave, Diva. If you didn't care about what I had to say, you'd ignore me completely. If you didn't care, you wouldn't make sure that I would get out of bed on my own birthday. You care so intensely.
You aren't hopeless at all. Perhaps you need guidance, but I've seen you grow since we first met. I look forward to seeing how much more you continue to change.
[He says all the things she wants to hear, all the things she wants to believe about herself and yet it still feels like it might not be true. Has she grown? Maybe...but does it matter? What does any of it matter if Saya won't love her and if she'll ultimately, at the end of the day, be alone.
Maybe not now she's not, not while she's in Adrian's arms, clinging to him, but surely he'd leave her someday. Just what would she have to do to make him so cross that he'd want nothing to do with her either?
She can't help but wonder.]
What happens if I change so much that I'm not me anymore? I don't want that. I like being me.
[Oh she's well aware of how cruel life can be, but if there's one thing she wants more than even her sister's love it's to live. She may love Saya more than anything in the world, but not over her own life and ultimately, if it came down to it, she'd choose her right to live over her twin.]
You really are my Prince Charming, you know that? Even if you can't be my Bridegroom.
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She presses her face into Adrian's chest even closer. He says it matters and she wants to believe it does. She wants to believe that she matters when right now she feels very much like a blight upon the world and everyone's lives that she's infected with her presence.]
...Do you think I'm loveable?
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I know you've been working hard to behave, Diva. If you didn't care about what I had to say, you'd ignore me completely. If you didn't care, you wouldn't make sure that I would get out of bed on my own birthday. You care so intensely.
You aren't hopeless at all. Perhaps you need guidance, but I've seen you grow since we first met. I look forward to seeing how much more you continue to change.
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Maybe not now she's not, not while she's in Adrian's arms, clinging to him, but surely he'd leave her someday. Just what would she have to do to make him so cross that he'd want nothing to do with her either?
She can't help but wonder.]
What happens if I change so much that I'm not me anymore? I don't want that. I like being me.
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Your heart should still be yours, no matter what. But I want to help you better understand other people as well.
I believe in you and Saya both.
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Not many people have ever wanted me for me, Adrian. They don't care about my heart.
[But if he has hope in them both, maybe she can allow her self to as well.]
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Life can be cruel, Diva. I know that well. But it can also be a wonderful opportunity to see some wonderful possibilities. I hope for you to see that.
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You really are my Prince Charming, you know that? Even if you can't be my Bridegroom.