I don't think I'm going to get any compliments nicer than 'a step up from seawater'.
[ Oh. Alucard's legs aren't there anymore. He was enjoying leaning his head against them like an overgrown moth-cat. But no matter, he shuffles to lean against the chair instead and curls his big, dusty wings around himself like a blanket. It's still nice. ]
Yeah, sounds about right. Like the world hasn't stopped beating the shit out of you, but there's something padding the blows.
[ A short pause, because he maybe should have thought that metaphor through a little. He sighs and shakes his head. ]
I'm not going to make things right. This isn't me trying to make things right.
[There's a pause as he watches Trevor adjust to his position, then he makes the executive decision to just wiggle himself down to the floor to sit next to Trevor. Two assholes not using furniture. He's already Eternally Horny because of Iris, how much worse can it get?]
Something like that. I know it's temporary. God, it'll be terribly temporary for me, but it's nice for right now.
[ Oh. Oh, this is nice. And he's been trying to be careful about the dust thing, but it's so eay like this to just- flop to one side, lean against Alucard and stretch one wing over them like a blanket. Even if it does mean that that collar of fluff and the scales from his wings are unavoidably close. Oops.
And oh. Oops. He'd been avoiding the topic of what happened back home, hadn't he? Except then he'd forgotten because he has the attention span of the stupid moth that he is right now. ]
Like anything at all. I'm not going to try to make it right that you lost- pretty much fucking everything. That I couldn't do my one goddamn job, and that you had to do it instead. And I'm not going to try to make it right that we left you. And if something happened because we left you, I'm not going to be making that right either. Not with a bit of blood.
[ Ah yes. If something happened. SMOOTH AS FUCK. ]
I mean- I'd try if you asked me to. Don't think I could manage it, but I'd try. But this isn't me trying. This is just me- you know. Wanting to get drunk with you. Because I like being around you and I like being drunk. That's it.
[The warmth is nice, and he does huff a little at the scales but little else. He's going to try very hard to make sure the case of horny doesn't get in the way of the moment. Being drunk, ironically, seems to be helping a little.
Ah okay, they're going to talk about that. Alucard frowns to himself, then shakes his head a little before he leans his head onto Trevor's shoulder.]
...What happened with Dracula wasn't your fault. Or after.
[His tone is distant and hollow, the ache in his heart dull but there. If something happened because we left you. That hurts, but it isn't Trevor's fault. It's nobody's but his own foolishness.]
[ But clearly they didn't. And- fuck, how the fuck does time work here. If he goes back and tries to return to the castle, how the fuck does that work? Best to assume there's no fixing it. At least then if he can then it's a nice surprise. ]
Doesn't matter, I suppose. Because like I said, this isn't pity or guilt or trying to buy you off with blood. It's important that you know that.
[But it's nothing but a pleasant idea, soured by what the truth of it is. Alucard shuts his eyes, feeling wretched, the softness of Iris making him want to crumble -- but he fiercely doesn't want to do that now. Not with Trevor. Wouldn't that make it worse?]
I didn't... think it particularly was. You aren't the type to waste things like pity.
The fuck, don't call it wasting. It wouldn't be wasting shit, I just don't feel like doing it.
[ He's ruined the hangout, hasn't he? Even through the haze of 'yes yes go make bad decisions' he can tell that much. ]
Fuck, I've brought the mood down. I just wanted to say that I'm not here out of some bullshit obligation. And I figured it'd be easy to come to the conclusion that I was. You know, since everything else I do is because of some bullshit obligation or another. I'm here because I want to be around you. I already fucked up the 'friends' thing once. Maybe more than once, too drunk to count, and I'm trying to do it better,
You're very much making this a strange contradictory experience, Belmont. "I don't feel like pitying you out of obligation but I want to be around you because friendship."
[Fortunately, Alucard doesn't seem much ruffled about it. Mostly, he's busy feeling bad for himself, but he's trying to pay attention to what Trevor is trying to say.]
But... I think I see what you're at least attempting to say. Maybe. Even if it's clear as mud.
I'm trying, okay? It's not like I've had a lot of 'talking with people who aren't liable to kill me' experience. Unless you want anecdotes about sticky horses from the sea I don't have a whole lot of conversation topics.
[ He doesn't sound the usual mixture of frustrated with both Alucard and himself, though. More just entertained by how own failings. Stumbling over words and failing and trying again carelessly and without much thought. ]
I can just shut up, if you like. Let you enjoy being drunk. I don't need to talk, s'nice just being around.
It's an example. Needed an example that wasn't vampires because- you know. You probably already know about those.
[ He laughs. ]
I'm going to need to find a hobby, just so I have something to talk to you about that isn't the finer points of how not to die at the hands of sticky horses or vampires. If I start learning how to- fuck, I don't know- knit? And I don't talk about anything other than how to make ugly scarves? Your fault.
Hmm, suppose I do know a little bit about vampires.
[Anyway, Alucard is absolutely getting more comfortable against Trevor. If that were possible.]
Well, considering we're on an alien world with fantastic technology and people from several different realms and possibilities, I think you have the high possibility of finding something other than knitting. Just a guess.
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[ Oh. Alucard's legs aren't there anymore. He was enjoying leaning his head against them like an overgrown moth-cat. But no matter, he shuffles to lean against the chair instead and curls his big, dusty wings around himself like a blanket. It's still nice. ]
Yeah, sounds about right. Like the world hasn't stopped beating the shit out of you, but there's something padding the blows.
[ A short pause, because he maybe should have thought that metaphor through a little. He sighs and shakes his head. ]
I'm not going to make things right. This isn't me trying to make things right.
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Something like that. I know it's temporary. God, it'll be terribly temporary for me, but it's nice for right now.
[Alucard looks at him.]
Things right. Like what?
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And oh. Oops. He'd been avoiding the topic of what happened back home, hadn't he? Except then he'd forgotten because he has the attention span of the stupid moth that he is right now. ]
Like anything at all. I'm not going to try to make it right that you lost- pretty much fucking everything. That I couldn't do my one goddamn job, and that you had to do it instead. And I'm not going to try to make it right that we left you. And if something happened because we left you, I'm not going to be making that right either. Not with a bit of blood.
[ Ah yes. If something happened. SMOOTH AS FUCK. ]
I mean- I'd try if you asked me to. Don't think I could manage it, but I'd try. But this isn't me trying. This is just me- you know. Wanting to get drunk with you. Because I like being around you and I like being drunk. That's it.
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Ah okay, they're going to talk about that. Alucard frowns to himself, then shakes his head a little before he leans his head onto Trevor's shoulder.]
...What happened with Dracula wasn't your fault. Or after.
[His tone is distant and hollow, the ache in his heart dull but there. If something happened because we left you. That hurts, but it isn't Trevor's fault. It's nobody's but his own foolishness.]
There's nothing anyone could do.
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[ But clearly they didn't. And- fuck, how the fuck does time work here. If he goes back and tries to return to the castle, how the fuck does that work? Best to assume there's no fixing it. At least then if he can then it's a nice surprise. ]
Doesn't matter, I suppose. Because like I said, this isn't pity or guilt or trying to buy you off with blood. It's important that you know that.
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[But it's nothing but a pleasant idea, soured by what the truth of it is. Alucard shuts his eyes, feeling wretched, the softness of Iris making him want to crumble -- but he fiercely doesn't want to do that now. Not with Trevor. Wouldn't that make it worse?]
I didn't... think it particularly was. You aren't the type to waste things like pity.
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[ He's ruined the hangout, hasn't he? Even through the haze of 'yes yes go make bad decisions' he can tell that much. ]
Fuck, I've brought the mood down. I just wanted to say that I'm not here out of some bullshit obligation. And I figured it'd be easy to come to the conclusion that I was. You know, since everything else I do is because of some bullshit obligation or another. I'm here because I want to be around you. I already fucked up the 'friends' thing once. Maybe more than once, too drunk to count, and I'm trying to do it better,
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[Fortunately, Alucard doesn't seem much ruffled about it. Mostly, he's busy feeling bad for himself, but he's trying to pay attention to what Trevor is trying to say.]
But... I think I see what you're at least attempting to say. Maybe. Even if it's clear as mud.
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[ He doesn't sound the usual mixture of frustrated with both Alucard and himself, though. More just entertained by how own failings. Stumbling over words and failing and trying again carelessly and without much thought. ]
I can just shut up, if you like. Let you enjoy being drunk. I don't need to talk, s'nice just being around.
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[There's a brief pause, and he opens an eye to peer at Trevor.]
What the fuck is this about sticky horses?
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[ He laughs. ]
I'm going to need to find a hobby, just so I have something to talk to you about that isn't the finer points of how not to die at the hands of sticky horses or vampires. If I start learning how to- fuck, I don't know- knit? And I don't talk about anything other than how to make ugly scarves? Your fault.
no subject
[Anyway, Alucard is absolutely getting more comfortable against Trevor. If that were possible.]
Well, considering we're on an alien world with fantastic technology and people from several different realms and possibilities, I think you have the high possibility of finding something other than knitting. Just a guess.