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[reposing]

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[reposing]

What a good boy.
I'm so proud of him.

Oh, and I'm making good headway on his prosthetic. I have a temporary one I want to set him up with so he can move around, but Kakyoin stated that there is a robotics class at University that might be able to help better so he can use chroma to move his arm.

[starmark]

oh, really?

so he's gonna take the class and help you with it?

[reposing]

Don't be silly. We're both taking the class.

[starmark]

you're going to the university
you're going to be a student now
oh my god

wait
this will be your first time in a class like this won't it

[reposing]

I've been personally tutored.

[starmark]

so like i said
you've never been in a class

have you gotten some notebooks and stuff at least
what about a backpack

[reposing]

I have notebooks. I know how to take notes. Who the fuck do you think I am?
I'm not getting a backpack they look so silly. I'll find a bag I like, thank you.

[starmark]

i just want you to be ready for your big first day of school

firsts are so important

[reposing]

Please. I think I can manage.

[starmark]

ha ha

i'm glad though
that you and kakyoin are doing something together i mean
without me around getting in the middle of it

[reposing]

I was rather under the impression you might prefer to be in the middle of it.

[starmark]

what do you mean?

i don't want to be left out if that's what you mean
but you're not so i'm not worried

[reposing]

Do you feel left out at all? If he and I are doing things together.

[starmark]

i guess maybe a little?
but not really in a bad way
it's not like you're deliberately trying to or anything
it's just you guys are doing something that i'm not

besides i'm already close to both of you
you both have a lot in common with me as it is
so i guess i just think it's good that you two will have something to have in common too

[reposing]

You're close to both of us
And how close do you want to be with him?
I'm not asking out of jealousy. I just want to know.

[starmark]

well i mean
he's my best friend
and we never really got the chance to be friends outside of the trip to egypt
so i'd like to do that i guess

i don't know
it feels like things are getting better
i don't want to mess that up if I can help it
if there's a way for us all to be happy then that's what i want

i guess that's not a very good answer

[reposing]

Not really, no.
But I won't make you say anything else.

[starmark]

i just don't want to say something stupid by mistake and have it be one of those things that you end up remembering forever

i don't always get things right the first time
or the second time
but if i say something careless it might hurt you without meaning to

and i worry about that a lot

[reposing]

I know you're worried about hurting me, and I appreciate that. But I think so long as there is some sort of resolution to it, it won't haunt me.
And sometimes it hurts more not knowing.

You don't have to tell me right now, though.

[starmark]

i think i still love him
but it's not exactly the same as the way i love you
i want you to be my first for everything
and you make me feel like it's okay to not be strong or perfect or tough
but with him i feel like...

i don't know
it's like the world just makes a little more sense when he's there
he makes hard things seem simple

it's been really hard adjusting to having him here but that's because i've been so worried
i felt like i had to take responsibility
but hearing that you're going back to school together means he's doing something normal
so maybe i don't have to worry as much
and when the worry goes away then i just feel glad

glad he's here
glad he's alive
glad you got to meet him

i don't want to let go of that feeling

[reposing]

I suspected you might. I hardly begrudge you for it, but I think it's important to acknowledge the truth of it.
Thank you for telling me.

I do like him. And I'm glad you two are starting to heal finally.
I think more than anything I'd like you both to be happy, but I want to be part of that.

[starmark]

how could you not be a part of it?

i mean
sorry that was a serious question but then i think i figured it out on my own

sorry to say you're stuck with me, fussyfangs
if i'm part of it then you are too

do you
when you say you like him
what do you mean exactly

[reposing]

Oh no, how terrible. It's not as if I'm looking forward to my future with you or anything like that.

Just what I mean. That I like him.
I like that he speaks his mind to me. That he doesn't hold back, and how knowledgeable he is. It's funny to see him put on a facade for others by being polite, but then to me he's absolutely a piece of shit. Sort of in the way that you're a bit of a bastard and that's fun, but at the end of it there's affection.
And in his way, he has been affectionate, I think.

[starmark]

he put hierophant around your shoulders, right?

hierophant and star are different in how we treat them
star is a separate thing for me
hierophant is only separate from kakyoin the way that a leg is separate from an arm

so what he does with hierophant is really just what he's doing himself
but with a different face on it

he's a real bastard though isn't he
he's a show-off too
he likes knowing everything about everything

[reposing]

It does seem like Hierophant is truly just an extension from himself. I know that's more or less true of you and Star, but the way they act is a bit different. Maybe because he's had Hierophant all of his life? I'm not sure.

Definitely a bit of a know-it-all.
Actually
he reminds me of Sypha, a little bit. She was like that.
The difference is that Kakyoin has no problem admitting that he's a bastard.