Knowing this place, I'll probably end up tripping over one soon enough, odd as it is.
[As Alucard speaks, he reaches forward to brush his fingers against Alucard's cheek, up and through his hair, brushing it away from his face gently.]
Regardless of the bad that's happened, I... value every moment we've spent together, Adrian. There's so much more I'd like to do with you, but... if I were to have left today, I wouldn't have thought that we hadn't made the best of it, not by any means. Even the moments of quiet, just enjoying each others presence, have meant so much to me.
...I just hope that I can be as good for you as you are to me. I want to be able to be there for you, that you feel like you can confide in me. That would be the only regret I'd have, that I wasn't able to help you like you've helped me.
[Despite everything, Alucard smiles at Minato kindly, his expression warm.]
I assure you that I value every minute I've to spend with you. Both of our fates are so demanding of us, but with you I... feel as if I am but a man. Not a messiah, or savior.
Though I admit, I am faulty when it comes to expression my deep concerns. I never wish to burden you.
We can leave our destinies at the door, both of us. For even just a little while.
[Minato cups Alucard's face with his hands, brow knit slightly with concern.]
I understand that feeling completely, I really do. You're... the first person I've opened up to in a very long time. I still end up feeling like I'll just be a burden to you with how much baggage I come with, no matter how I try to remind myself that's not the case. But just as I hopefully am not burdening you, you would never be burdening me. Never.
[For a moment, he shuts his eyes. Minato isn't wrong; a relationship is also a partnership of trust. He would never say that Minato is a burden.
It is only fair to think that Minato would think the same.]
I feel...
I feel that I have failed everyone. I had tried everything I could think of to help. To cure. To have that loom over me as well as knowing that my hunter has vanished from this station, I fear the worst.
This situation is far out of our control, Adrian. You shouldn't try to shoulder responsibility for it alone — for the sake of yourself, you can't. You'll kill yourself that way.
You did absolutely everything you could. You spent so much time pouring over samples, giving assistance to those who needed it, being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen with on top of you yourself being just as hurt as everyone else was... no one could possibly fault you.
It isn't your fault that this happened, just as it isn't your fault or an indication of failure that you couldn't fix it. Whatever's going on here... it's far beyond what any of us can fathom, I think. It's a helpless situation right now, at least until we manage to find any semblance of a proper clue as to what's happening, so you can't let yourself fall into despair about things beyond your control. If there's one thing you can do for everyone right now, it's be a pillar of strength and support, as best you can, so long as you do so with regards for your own health and wellbeing as well. Don't worry about what you can't do, just focus on the can.
Meanwhile, I'll be here for you, too.
[He tilts his head a little.]
Your hunter... do you mean that man that was staying with you?
[But he knows, logically, that Minato is correct. There is only so much that he can control, and he certainly has none over what the station chooses to do to them. All that they can do is endure and survive this place.]
It troubles me to let go of control, and to also know that I am needed to fulfill so many roles at the same time. I will try to not carry so much.
[There is a pause, then he nods.] Trevor Belmont. It is said that I would encounter a hunter and a scholar to aid me in killing my father. Trevor has disappeared sometime ago from this place while we were becoming infected. I worry that it may mean.
It's hard to know things are out of your control, especially if you're used to being in control. I don't blame you for having issue with it. Hopefully... the tides will change soon enough.
[Minato frowns to hear about Trevor, given there was so much they didn't know about what disappearing even means. Do they go home? Do they disappear forever? Die? They just don't know.]
I wish we just... had some way of knowing what disappearing means. I think all we can do is hold out hope that it means that he's been sent back to wait for you.
Someone... someone I know disappeared for a little while. A few days. And then he came back. It could've been a result of us fading away this month, and he just reached levels far beyond what I ever did, or it could've been the same way people have been disappearing — I don't know. But he came back. There's still hope that Trevor could, too.
[There's a helpless shrug from Alucard.] I wish I knew, precisely, what it meant. I could no longer trace his blood. Not a speck of him remains, not a single hair. As if he were but a memory now.
I know no way to trace him, or anyone else who has disappeared. If there was a way to know either way, it would prepare me, at the very least.
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no subject
Knowing this place, I'll probably end up tripping over one soon enough, odd as it is.
[As Alucard speaks, he reaches forward to brush his fingers against Alucard's cheek, up and through his hair, brushing it away from his face gently.]
Regardless of the bad that's happened, I... value every moment we've spent together, Adrian. There's so much more I'd like to do with you, but... if I were to have left today, I wouldn't have thought that we hadn't made the best of it, not by any means. Even the moments of quiet, just enjoying each others presence, have meant so much to me.
...I just hope that I can be as good for you as you are to me. I want to be able to be there for you, that you feel like you can confide in me. That would be the only regret I'd have, that I wasn't able to help you like you've helped me.
no subject
I assure you that I value every minute I've to spend with you. Both of our fates are so demanding of us, but with you I... feel as if I am but a man. Not a messiah, or savior.
Though I admit, I am faulty when it comes to expression my deep concerns. I never wish to burden you.
no subject
[Minato cups Alucard's face with his hands, brow knit slightly with concern.]
I understand that feeling completely, I really do. You're... the first person I've opened up to in a very long time. I still end up feeling like I'll just be a burden to you with how much baggage I come with, no matter how I try to remind myself that's not the case. But just as I hopefully am not burdening you, you would never be burdening me. Never.
no subject
It is only fair to think that Minato would think the same.]
I feel...
I feel that I have failed everyone. I had tried everything I could think of to help. To cure. To have that loom over me as well as knowing that my hunter has vanished from this station, I fear the worst.
no subject
You did absolutely everything you could. You spent so much time pouring over samples, giving assistance to those who needed it, being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen with on top of you yourself being just as hurt as everyone else was... no one could possibly fault you.
It isn't your fault that this happened, just as it isn't your fault or an indication of failure that you couldn't fix it. Whatever's going on here... it's far beyond what any of us can fathom, I think. It's a helpless situation right now, at least until we manage to find any semblance of a proper clue as to what's happening, so you can't let yourself fall into despair about things beyond your control. If there's one thing you can do for everyone right now, it's be a pillar of strength and support, as best you can, so long as you do so with regards for your own health and wellbeing as well. Don't worry about what you can't do, just focus on the can.
Meanwhile, I'll be here for you, too.
[He tilts his head a little.]
Your hunter... do you mean that man that was staying with you?
no subject
[But he knows, logically, that Minato is correct. There is only so much that he can control, and he certainly has none over what the station chooses to do to them. All that they can do is endure and survive this place.]
It troubles me to let go of control, and to also know that I am needed to fulfill so many roles at the same time. I will try to not carry so much.
[There is a pause, then he nods.] Trevor Belmont. It is said that I would encounter a hunter and a scholar to aid me in killing my father. Trevor has disappeared sometime ago from this place while we were becoming infected. I worry that it may mean.
no subject
[Minato frowns to hear about Trevor, given there was so much they didn't know about what disappearing even means. Do they go home? Do they disappear forever? Die? They just don't know.]
I wish we just... had some way of knowing what disappearing means. I think all we can do is hold out hope that it means that he's been sent back to wait for you.
Someone... someone I know disappeared for a little while. A few days. And then he came back. It could've been a result of us fading away this month, and he just reached levels far beyond what I ever did, or it could've been the same way people have been disappearing — I don't know. But he came back. There's still hope that Trevor could, too.
no subject
[There's a helpless shrug from Alucard.] I wish I knew, precisely, what it meant. I could no longer trace his blood. Not a speck of him remains, not a single hair. As if he were but a memory now.
I know no way to trace him, or anyone else who has disappeared. If there was a way to know either way, it would prepare me, at the very least.