All I have at home are Integra and Seras Victoria and my moments of solitude.
[ an honesty, from him. but then he continues. ]
Here, I'm getting... attached to people. I've been so detached for so long that I don't know what to do with feeling things like this. My entire world to two people, and now there's more.
It can be a bit frightening, I'll admit. To have so much suddenly, and to know you can lose it so quickly.
But I think it'll be a good reminder to you, Alucard. As it has been for me. For as much as I regret and miss those that are gone, I know that I'm not alone. Neither are you, if you so choose.
Despite any who would tell you otherwise. And for people like us, we have an infinite life to explore.
[Lightly, he rests his hand over Alucard's wrist.] I want to change so much in this place, of course. But it's useless without remembering who I'm changing it for.
With all of your power at your disposal, I can see the easily being the norm for you.
[His hand slips into Alucard's now, the touch light.]
Perhaps it is normal also for a Dracula to fixate. [Adrian means to say it to tease, but for a moment his smile is sad before he finishes his glass of wine.] You have time to learn. And you have people willing.
[Adrian isn't ignorant to the softer moments he'd shared with Alucard, the contact and conversation shared. The sex had been fun and distracting, but everything else around it felt more important, honestly.
And this, too, is important. The way their hands interlink. It chases away the brief sadness in Adrian's face.]
Perhaps so.
Sharing is no easy thing, Alucard. In many ways. The worries in your heart when you're meant to be seen as impenetrable, or when all you would want is to keep the ones you love close to you and far away from everything else.
[ he's glad to chase that sadness away, to let something else take its place. he's quiet, listening, but he nods. ]
The desire to just... devour that which I covet is so strong. To take into myself, to have that forever. But I know it's not... how people work. [ he smiles, a little wry. ]
I'm doing my best here, and I suppose that's the best thing I can say for it.
[Briefly, Adrian's eyes close and he leans into the contact.]
I guess you'll just have to deal with it.
[Slipping from his seat, Arian leans over, grinning.]
I daresay even Trevor seems quite fond of you.
[Without any particular embarrassment, Adrian presses his lips to Alucard's, the contact tender. They can afford to be more than that between the two of them, but he tends to find those who have lacked kindness could stand to use it more.]
[ alucard grins right back at him--and huffs a laugh. he returns the kiss before he answers, cupping adrian's cheek with one hand to hold him there a moment before he leans back to speak, looking at him. ]
Well, I'm glad for that. I've been bothering him often enough.
[ he smiles, but adrian's question gives him pause. he... has to think about it. integra is more understanding to him than his past masters, but she's not soft. she treats him like a person, but that's not the same.
something works in his jaw, something telling, and then he shrugs. ]
Before this place? I can't remember.
[ alucard doesn't forget things. he remembers so much, so vividly. he doesn't think it's ever happened. not without coercion or his powers, and that doesn't count.
he shrugs again, almost helplessly this time. ]
My wives when I was still alive. We had... a closeness, after we were married for some time. They were strong women, but had a softness around the edges.
[Though admittedly Adrian doesn't know too much of Alucard's history, he's going to guess it's been quite sometime since a hand was soft or someone had been gentle. He can imagine it well; Wallachia, though capable of great beauty, is also immensely cruel. The world is just that way.
But he's had enough good to know to hold onto it, even if at first it seemed easier to escape from it.
So he smiles, pressing a kiss to Alucard's brow.]
Then you have much time to make up for, evidently.
[Fingers roam into Alucard's hair, notably more wild and refusing to abide by common physics. But it's a part of what makes the vampire as he is, so it isn't treated with anything else but curiosity.
His lips trail down to Alucard's temple, then back to his mouth. Another time, he would enjoy their time more roughly, and Adrian is perfectly capable. But it isn't what he thinks he wants right now.
Instead, he takes his time, gently working his tongue against Alucard's lower lip.]
[ wallachia is horribly cruel, and so too the wars he fought. it's how he lost his wife, after all, the cruelty of war.
he's not thinking about that, though. he's thinking about adrian, and the way he's gentle with him in ways he doesn't need to be. it's practically overwhelming, just that: he leans into the touch of the dhampir's lips, humming in agreement to what he says.
while his hair does have a mind of its own it's surprisingly compliant today, not being awful. his hair, which is possibly sentient, must just enjoy being pet.
alucard presses into the kiss easily, gently, and parts his lips for adrian's tongue, meeting it with a lazy swipe of his own before he deepens the kiss slightly. it's not demanding, just affectionate and enduring.
even alucard doesn't know what he wants at times, but he does know he likes this.
his hand drops, resting lightly at adrian's waist, drawing him closer. ]
[A soft, curious hum escapes Adrian before he decides to take up a familiar spot into Alucard's lap. It's certainly more of a private affair at the moment, which also suits him fine. His mood varies, not unlike his own duality of being, both human and monster.
So, unlike last time, he's tracing his fingertips idly over Alucard's jawline before returning to his hair, quietly marveling at its thickness as he combs his hands through. He keeps from using his teeth right at the moment, his mouth open and his tongue lazily sliding against Alucard's.
This is exceptionally easier when he doesn't need to breathe as much. He's frankly glad that matters with that camp are done and over with finally.]
[ alucard settles back when adrian comes into his lap, giving him more space. his hand still rests at his waist, while the other arm coils around him covetously. it's funny: he'd survived just fine without gentle affections, any gentleness at all save from his master, but now that he's tasted it he's ravenous for it, something he hadn't even realized he was missing.
the camp had turned him into the chained snarling dog he'd been so many years ago in abraham's basement, but perhaps that's not surprising, for him to have revisited his trauma in ways that culminated in violence.
now that they're free of it he's settling again, falling into routine and not clawing out of his own skin.
alucard uses his teeth but barely, the softest scrape across adrian's lower lip. his affection always has a tinge of sharpness to it, but he's learning to meter it. ]
[There is no hurry in Adrian, his fingers continuing to work through Alucard's hair before he decides to simply drape his arms around the vampire's shoulders, playing with his hair as more like an afterthought. He gives a little beastly rumble at the teeth against his lip; not a warning, but a sound of interest. He knows Alucard has restraint, and it certainly shows right now.
His mouth finally parts from Alucard's with a sigh, his head tilting and leaning in to gently nip and tug at his earlobe.]
[ not being in a hurry is fine. as much as he craves rough things, violence, this is good too, in a way he can't really quantify. but it's nice, so fuck it, he's going to enjoy it.
he likes adrian's fingers in his hair, likes the sound he makes--he nips properly then, an idle catch, encouraging.
adrian's movement drives him to tilt his head aside slightly though, eyes lidded as his fingers curl against the dhampir's back. ]
It's good.
[ his voice is low and a little throaty, if we're being honest. ]
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[ an honesty, from him. but then he continues. ]
Here, I'm getting... attached to people. I've been so detached for so long that I don't know what to do with feeling things like this. My entire world to two people, and now there's more.
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But I think it'll be a good reminder to you, Alucard. As it has been for me. For as much as I regret and miss those that are gone, I know that I'm not alone. Neither are you, if you so choose.
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I need to... focus, I think, on forging what I can while I'm here. To not let things stagnate, I suppose. Life is more than work.
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[Lightly, he rests his hand over Alucard's wrist.] I want to change so much in this place, of course. But it's useless without remembering who I'm changing it for.
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I want to change things. For once, not for selfish reasons. It's difficult to stand idly by, when it's for the sake of others.
[ he turns his hand slightly, exposing more of his wrist to that touch. ]
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...and when we feel, it is with a full intensity. Completely. [That, too, in a way is terrifying. But he's still glad for it.]
For what it's worth, while I do wish we've met under different circumstances, I'm still quite glad to know you.
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I don't... know how to feel, after so many years. To have fondness for people. An obsession turned gentler.
[ he smiles though, faint. ]
I agree. I'm glad to have met you, though the circumstances could be better.
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[His hand slips into Alucard's now, the touch light.]
Perhaps it is normal also for a Dracula to fixate. [Adrian means to say it to tease, but for a moment his smile is sad before he finishes his glass of wine.] You have time to learn. And you have people willing.
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[ his hand turns, threading their fingers as he glances down at their hands. it's... nice.
so is the tease, even if that smile is sad. alucard finishes his own wine, thoughtful. ]
I've always been that way. To feel gentler is something I'm getting used to. To not want to clutch to my own chest utterly, but to see flourish.
[ a faint smile. ] Perhaps it's just being less selfish.
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And this, too, is important. The way their hands interlink. It chases away the brief sadness in Adrian's face.]
Perhaps so.
Sharing is no easy thing, Alucard. In many ways. The worries in your heart when you're meant to be seen as impenetrable, or when all you would want is to keep the ones you love close to you and far away from everything else.
You'll learn. I trust that.
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The desire to just... devour that which I covet is so strong. To take into myself, to have that forever. But I know it's not... how people work. [ he smiles, a little wry. ]
I'm doing my best here, and I suppose that's the best thing I can say for it.
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I know.
And know that I also think you are deserving of affection, Alucard. Which is also a difficult thing to always accept.
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That's more difficult to accept than anything else, I think.
[ integra shows him affection in her own way. seras is loyal and affectionate. but other people? preposterous.
he huffs a laugh, tipping his head down. ]
I suppose I'm forced to accept it here, since there's evidence of it.
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I guess you'll just have to deal with it.
[Slipping from his seat, Arian leans over, grinning.]
I daresay even Trevor seems quite fond of you.
[Without any particular embarrassment, Adrian presses his lips to Alucard's, the contact tender. They can afford to be more than that between the two of them, but he tends to find those who have lacked kindness could stand to use it more.]
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[ alucard grins right back at him--and huffs a laugh. he returns the kiss before he answers, cupping adrian's cheek with one hand to hold him there a moment before he leans back to speak, looking at him. ]
Well, I'm glad for that. I've been bothering him often enough.
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[He laughs softly.]
Hmm, let me give you affection then, Alucard. When was the last time someone was soft to you?
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[ he smiles, but adrian's question gives him pause. he... has to think about it. integra is more understanding to him than his past masters, but she's not soft. she treats him like a person, but that's not the same.
something works in his jaw, something telling, and then he shrugs. ]
Before this place? I can't remember.
[ alucard doesn't forget things. he remembers so much, so vividly. he doesn't think it's ever happened. not without coercion or his powers, and that doesn't count.
he shrugs again, almost helplessly this time. ]
My wives when I was still alive. We had... a closeness, after we were married for some time. They were strong women, but had a softness around the edges.
[ that was literally 550 years ago, dude. ]
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But he's had enough good to know to hold onto it, even if at first it seemed easier to escape from it.
So he smiles, pressing a kiss to Alucard's brow.]
Then you have much time to make up for, evidently.
[Fingers roam into Alucard's hair, notably more wild and refusing to abide by common physics. But it's a part of what makes the vampire as he is, so it isn't treated with anything else but curiosity.
His lips trail down to Alucard's temple, then back to his mouth. Another time, he would enjoy their time more roughly, and Adrian is perfectly capable. But it isn't what he thinks he wants right now.
Instead, he takes his time, gently working his tongue against Alucard's lower lip.]
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he's not thinking about that, though. he's thinking about adrian, and the way he's gentle with him in ways he doesn't need to be. it's practically overwhelming, just that: he leans into the touch of the dhampir's lips, humming in agreement to what he says.
while his hair does have a mind of its own it's surprisingly compliant today, not being awful. his hair, which is possibly sentient, must just enjoy being pet.
alucard presses into the kiss easily, gently, and parts his lips for adrian's tongue, meeting it with a lazy swipe of his own before he deepens the kiss slightly. it's not demanding, just affectionate and enduring.
even alucard doesn't know what he wants at times, but he does know he likes this.
his hand drops, resting lightly at adrian's waist, drawing him closer. ]
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So, unlike last time, he's tracing his fingertips idly over Alucard's jawline before returning to his hair, quietly marveling at its thickness as he combs his hands through. He keeps from using his teeth right at the moment, his mouth open and his tongue lazily sliding against Alucard's.
This is exceptionally easier when he doesn't need to breathe as much. He's frankly glad that matters with that camp are done and over with finally.]
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the camp had turned him into the chained snarling dog he'd been so many years ago in abraham's basement, but perhaps that's not surprising, for him to have revisited his trauma in ways that culminated in violence.
now that they're free of it he's settling again, falling into routine and not clawing out of his own skin.
alucard uses his teeth but barely, the softest scrape across adrian's lower lip. his affection always has a tinge of sharpness to it, but he's learning to meter it. ]
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His mouth finally parts from Alucard's with a sigh, his head tilting and leaning in to gently nip and tug at his earlobe.]
Good so far?
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he likes adrian's fingers in his hair, likes the sound he makes--he nips properly then, an idle catch, encouraging.
adrian's movement drives him to tilt his head aside slightly though, eyes lidded as his fingers curl against the dhampir's back. ]
It's good.
[ his voice is low and a little throaty, if we're being honest. ]
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I'm glad.
Normally, I wouldn't care too much, but why don't we take this to the bedroom? Maybe I'll see you relaxed for a change.
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It's hard to catch me relaxed lately, isn't it.
[ but he nods, stealing a kiss while he's still in his lap. ]
After you.
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