Not really tried much. Cheaper to just buy a whole lot of the same thing, you know? Works well most of the time.
[ Gets boring when he's like this, but he's not about to complain too much. Boring or not, just the idea of being able to have food so easily accessible is a novelty he doesn't expect to wear off any time soon. He takes another gulp from the bottle, then leans his head against the chair. ]
I'm making the choice for me. I know- [ -he knows it must be difficult, even if he doesn't realise that the flirting is also bad. Or that the flirting is happening, honestly. He just opens his mouth and words happen, and he doesn't have to think about them at all. It's great. ] -I know the moon bullshit is hard for you. And I think the dust does something similar and- fuck, I can't stand the thought of that.
[ He looks down for a moment. ]
You can bite me, if you prefer it. I don't think I'm scared of that right now.
Awful. You should have variety. I'll let you choose a flavor when we're done.
[But he can clearly see how much Trevor cares. With all of his person right now, really. When they spoke after they encountered each other in the virtual reality, Trevor hated the idea of the moon affecting them. Affecting him. It was... oddly sweet? And he certainly did appreciate it from him.]
It isn't that bad with the right person. And I am considerably fortunate in that regard.
...I think it would be a bad idea to bite you in this state. And I say that because I don't want you to regret it later, Trevor.
[ If he were in his right mind, he'd be horrified about how sincere that came out. How relieved. But he's not, and so it just tumbles out of his mouth the same way everything else he says does. If Jotaro were anyone else, he'd be terrified. Well. Maybe not now, because he's not sure he's capable of terror right now. But all the test of the time. Now, it just seems like something unpleasant but nothing worse. ]
Your loss. [ Nothing comes out of the bottle when he brings it to his lips this time. Oh. He went through that quickly. ] Syringe it is, then.
[Honestly, he wishes a bit that Trevor would let himself be more like this. Softer. Kinder. Even a little playful in this way. But that isn't his place to say or wish, everything is too late in so many ways. He knows that.]
Hold out your arm for me.
[The dhampir gently helps roll up Trevor's sleeve, wiping at the crook of his elbow with a dab of rubbing alcohol. He waits for it to dry, which isn't long at least.
He can practically hear his blood, if he pays enough attention.
The syringe goes in, and he pulls out enough that it could be considered more or less a shot of blood. The syringe is set aside for now, and he looks down at the blood beading up where he'd punctured flesh.
He's been here long enough and had to engage in enough survival-handholding to know that even the slightest contact here is strangely- calming? Meaningful? Something like that. He thought that he was used to it. But Alucard rolls his sleeve up and-
-it's not even a sex thing, is the problem. If it was a sex thing it'd at least make sense. He doesn't want to fuck Alucard. Insofar as he is capable of accepting that he has any real desire to fuck Alucard normally, he kind of wants to do that less than usual. He wants to pick him up and spin him around. Press his forehead against his. Mush his face into his chest to listen to it.
He wants to hear Alucard laugh, which is worlds weirder than wanting to fuck him.
He watches the syringe instead of doing nonsense things because he has the presence of mind to recognise that none of those are good ideas even if he doesn't have the presence of mind to be ashamed. Sure enough, the blood comes out a translucent blue-green rather than a deeper, more opaque red. He watches it fill, and that's something to focus on. ]
It's- [ He watches as Alucard's tongue darts over the tiny puncture. And it's nice, and it makes him feel cared for, and he's kind of aware of how his brain isn't trying to make it into a sex thing when it absolutely should be. ] -it's fine. Drinking and bleeding are my favourite things to do anyway.
[ A pause. ] I'm happy to fuck off and let you get drunk by yourself, but you did say I was going to get ice cream. I think I deserve ice cream.
I think at least the former is your favorite. Bleeding just happens to coincide frequently.
[He hesitates, then shakes his head.] I think I'd rather you stay. At least for awhile. Not that you have to.
[But doing this alone seems... well. Rather lonely. And he doesn't want to do that.]
Help yourself to the freezer. It's fairly well stocked.
[Alucard for his part is taking his wine glass and pouring the blood into it, because he has to be a dramatic sophisticated asshole like his father. He starts to drink, and... it becomes quickly apparently what kind of lightweight he is, a blush seeping into his usually pale cheeks.]
[ He pushes himself to his feed and takes a few experimental steps, trying to gauge the effects of the alcohol and blood loss. In truth, he's had a lot worse on both sides. He barely wobbles as he makes his way to the freezer, looking through it as he tries to divine what the fuck moose tracks are meant to taste like.
It's something called 'celebrate' that he settles on in the end, because he has no idea what celebrating tastes like either, but it has rainbow sprinkles and- in truth he's not sure why that would have any effect on the decision making process because they almost certainly have a nutritional value of 'sugar' but.
He's a moth and rainbow sprinkles are appealing.
He takes the tub, because it's not like it's a big tub and also he deserves an entire tub of icecream. And a spoon. And then he returns to the floor, close enough to Alucard to lean his head against his knee. ]
It looks all wrong. Like seawater instead of wine.
[ He laughs, and it feels warm inside his chest. ]
[It's not even that funny and Alucard finds himself trying not to laugh anyway. He feels... nice. Warm, and nice. And Trevor is here, actually here with him. Not just a sad little doll made of grief and spoons sitting in his kitchen.
He looks down, and outright giggles behind at hand.]
A bit.
On the bright side your blood doesn't taste like seawater. A step up, truly.
[ It's not that he hasn't heard that laugh before. It's not even that he hasn't heard it in a situation where it wasn't directed at him. But it hits him differently, like this. Dissolves in him like sugar in water until there's no trace left of it and what remains can't rightly be called water anymore. ]
Good to know.
[ It's comfortable, in a way few things ever are for him. Even like this. Even drunk. He's not- not waiting for anything anymore. Not gritting his teeth and hoping that whatever awful thing the world had planned doesn't happen today.
Safe. Safe and happy and a little dizzy and he's not sure if the last one is from the alcohol or the laughter but he thinks it might be the latter. He hasn't opened the ice cream yet, just staring at the colourful lid of it. ]
What's it like? The drunk thing, not the my blood thing.
I don't think I'm going to get any compliments nicer than 'a step up from seawater'.
[ Oh. Alucard's legs aren't there anymore. He was enjoying leaning his head against them like an overgrown moth-cat. But no matter, he shuffles to lean against the chair instead and curls his big, dusty wings around himself like a blanket. It's still nice. ]
Yeah, sounds about right. Like the world hasn't stopped beating the shit out of you, but there's something padding the blows.
[ A short pause, because he maybe should have thought that metaphor through a little. He sighs and shakes his head. ]
I'm not going to make things right. This isn't me trying to make things right.
[There's a pause as he watches Trevor adjust to his position, then he makes the executive decision to just wiggle himself down to the floor to sit next to Trevor. Two assholes not using furniture. He's already Eternally Horny because of Iris, how much worse can it get?]
Something like that. I know it's temporary. God, it'll be terribly temporary for me, but it's nice for right now.
[ Oh. Oh, this is nice. And he's been trying to be careful about the dust thing, but it's so eay like this to just- flop to one side, lean against Alucard and stretch one wing over them like a blanket. Even if it does mean that that collar of fluff and the scales from his wings are unavoidably close. Oops.
And oh. Oops. He'd been avoiding the topic of what happened back home, hadn't he? Except then he'd forgotten because he has the attention span of the stupid moth that he is right now. ]
Like anything at all. I'm not going to try to make it right that you lost- pretty much fucking everything. That I couldn't do my one goddamn job, and that you had to do it instead. And I'm not going to try to make it right that we left you. And if something happened because we left you, I'm not going to be making that right either. Not with a bit of blood.
[ Ah yes. If something happened. SMOOTH AS FUCK. ]
I mean- I'd try if you asked me to. Don't think I could manage it, but I'd try. But this isn't me trying. This is just me- you know. Wanting to get drunk with you. Because I like being around you and I like being drunk. That's it.
[The warmth is nice, and he does huff a little at the scales but little else. He's going to try very hard to make sure the case of horny doesn't get in the way of the moment. Being drunk, ironically, seems to be helping a little.
Ah okay, they're going to talk about that. Alucard frowns to himself, then shakes his head a little before he leans his head onto Trevor's shoulder.]
...What happened with Dracula wasn't your fault. Or after.
[His tone is distant and hollow, the ache in his heart dull but there. If something happened because we left you. That hurts, but it isn't Trevor's fault. It's nobody's but his own foolishness.]
[ But clearly they didn't. And- fuck, how the fuck does time work here. If he goes back and tries to return to the castle, how the fuck does that work? Best to assume there's no fixing it. At least then if he can then it's a nice surprise. ]
Doesn't matter, I suppose. Because like I said, this isn't pity or guilt or trying to buy you off with blood. It's important that you know that.
[But it's nothing but a pleasant idea, soured by what the truth of it is. Alucard shuts his eyes, feeling wretched, the softness of Iris making him want to crumble -- but he fiercely doesn't want to do that now. Not with Trevor. Wouldn't that make it worse?]
I didn't... think it particularly was. You aren't the type to waste things like pity.
The fuck, don't call it wasting. It wouldn't be wasting shit, I just don't feel like doing it.
[ He's ruined the hangout, hasn't he? Even through the haze of 'yes yes go make bad decisions' he can tell that much. ]
Fuck, I've brought the mood down. I just wanted to say that I'm not here out of some bullshit obligation. And I figured it'd be easy to come to the conclusion that I was. You know, since everything else I do is because of some bullshit obligation or another. I'm here because I want to be around you. I already fucked up the 'friends' thing once. Maybe more than once, too drunk to count, and I'm trying to do it better,
You're very much making this a strange contradictory experience, Belmont. "I don't feel like pitying you out of obligation but I want to be around you because friendship."
[Fortunately, Alucard doesn't seem much ruffled about it. Mostly, he's busy feeling bad for himself, but he's trying to pay attention to what Trevor is trying to say.]
But... I think I see what you're at least attempting to say. Maybe. Even if it's clear as mud.
I'm trying, okay? It's not like I've had a lot of 'talking with people who aren't liable to kill me' experience. Unless you want anecdotes about sticky horses from the sea I don't have a whole lot of conversation topics.
[ He doesn't sound the usual mixture of frustrated with both Alucard and himself, though. More just entertained by how own failings. Stumbling over words and failing and trying again carelessly and without much thought. ]
I can just shut up, if you like. Let you enjoy being drunk. I don't need to talk, s'nice just being around.
It's an example. Needed an example that wasn't vampires because- you know. You probably already know about those.
[ He laughs. ]
I'm going to need to find a hobby, just so I have something to talk to you about that isn't the finer points of how not to die at the hands of sticky horses or vampires. If I start learning how to- fuck, I don't know- knit? And I don't talk about anything other than how to make ugly scarves? Your fault.
Hmm, suppose I do know a little bit about vampires.
[Anyway, Alucard is absolutely getting more comfortable against Trevor. If that were possible.]
Well, considering we're on an alien world with fantastic technology and people from several different realms and possibilities, I think you have the high possibility of finding something other than knitting. Just a guess.
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no subject
[Honestly, he rather likes this side of Trevor, albeit the flirting makes it... hard, for multiples reasons, Iris included.]
I suppose that's for the best, but. Know I wouldn't normally make that choice for you if you weren't making such a mess.
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Not really tried much. Cheaper to just buy a whole lot of the same thing, you know? Works well most of the time.
[ Gets boring when he's like this, but he's not about to complain too much. Boring or not, just the idea of being able to have food so easily accessible is a novelty he doesn't expect to wear off any time soon. He takes another gulp from the bottle, then leans his head against the chair. ]
I'm making the choice for me. I know- [ -he knows it must be difficult, even if he doesn't realise that the flirting is also bad. Or that the flirting is happening, honestly. He just opens his mouth and words happen, and he doesn't have to think about them at all. It's great. ] -I know the moon bullshit is hard for you. And I think the dust does something similar and- fuck, I can't stand the thought of that.
[ He looks down for a moment. ]
You can bite me, if you prefer it. I don't think I'm scared of that right now.
no subject
[But he can clearly see how much Trevor cares. With all of his person right now, really. When they spoke after they encountered each other in the virtual reality, Trevor hated the idea of the moon affecting them. Affecting him. It was... oddly sweet? And he certainly did appreciate it from him.]
It isn't that bad with the right person. And I am considerably fortunate in that regard.
...I think it would be a bad idea to bite you in this state. And I say that because I don't want you to regret it later, Trevor.
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[ If he were in his right mind, he'd be horrified about how sincere that came out. How relieved. But he's not, and so it just tumbles out of his mouth the same way everything else he says does. If Jotaro were anyone else, he'd be terrified. Well. Maybe not now, because he's not sure he's capable of terror right now. But all the test of the time. Now, it just seems like something unpleasant but nothing worse. ]
Your loss. [ Nothing comes out of the bottle when he brings it to his lips this time. Oh. He went through that quickly. ] Syringe it is, then.
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Hold out your arm for me.
[The dhampir gently helps roll up Trevor's sleeve, wiping at the crook of his elbow with a dab of rubbing alcohol. He waits for it to dry, which isn't long at least.
He can practically hear his blood, if he pays enough attention.
The syringe goes in, and he pulls out enough that it could be considered more or less a shot of blood. The syringe is set aside for now, and he looks down at the blood beading up where he'd punctured flesh.
Bending down, he drags his tongue over the spot.]
...Thank you.
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He's been here long enough and had to engage in enough survival-handholding to know that even the slightest contact here is strangely- calming? Meaningful? Something like that. He thought that he was used to it. But Alucard rolls his sleeve up and-
-it's not even a sex thing, is the problem. If it was a sex thing it'd at least make sense. He doesn't want to fuck Alucard. Insofar as he is capable of accepting that he has any real desire to fuck Alucard normally, he kind of wants to do that less than usual. He wants to pick him up and spin him around. Press his forehead against his. Mush his face into his chest to listen to it.
He wants to hear Alucard laugh, which is worlds weirder than wanting to fuck him.
He watches the syringe instead of doing nonsense things because he has the presence of mind to recognise that none of those are good ideas even if he doesn't have the presence of mind to be ashamed. Sure enough, the blood comes out a translucent blue-green rather than a deeper, more opaque red. He watches it fill, and that's something to focus on. ]
It's- [ He watches as Alucard's tongue darts over the tiny puncture. And it's nice, and it makes him feel cared for, and he's kind of aware of how his brain isn't trying to make it into a sex thing when it absolutely should be. ] -it's fine. Drinking and bleeding are my favourite things to do anyway.
[ A pause. ] I'm happy to fuck off and let you get drunk by yourself, but you did say I was going to get ice cream. I think I deserve ice cream.
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[He hesitates, then shakes his head.] I think I'd rather you stay. At least for awhile. Not that you have to.
[But doing this alone seems... well. Rather lonely. And he doesn't want to do that.]
Help yourself to the freezer. It's fairly well stocked.
[Alucard for his part is taking his wine glass and pouring the blood into it, because he has to be a dramatic sophisticated asshole like his father. He starts to drink, and... it becomes quickly apparently what kind of lightweight he is, a blush seeping into his usually pale cheeks.]
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It's something called 'celebrate' that he settles on in the end, because he has no idea what celebrating tastes like either, but it has rainbow sprinkles and- in truth he's not sure why that would have any effect on the decision making process because they almost certainly have a nutritional value of 'sugar' but.
He's a moth and rainbow sprinkles are appealing.
He takes the tub, because it's not like it's a big tub and also he deserves an entire tub of icecream. And a spoon. And then he returns to the floor, close enough to Alucard to lean his head against his knee. ]
It looks all wrong. Like seawater instead of wine.
[ He laughs, and it feels warm inside his chest. ]
I've ruined your dramatics, haven't I?
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He looks down, and outright giggles behind at hand.]
A bit.
On the bright side your blood doesn't taste like seawater. A step up, truly.
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Good to know.
[ It's comfortable, in a way few things ever are for him. Even like this. Even drunk. He's not- not waiting for anything anymore. Not gritting his teeth and hoping that whatever awful thing the world had planned doesn't happen today.
Safe. Safe and happy and a little dizzy and he's not sure if the last one is from the alcohol or the laughter but he thinks it might be the latter. He hasn't opened the ice cream yet, just staring at the colourful lid of it. ]
What's it like? The drunk thing, not the my blood thing.
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[He smiles to himself anyway, pulling his legs up to his chest as he gets comfortable in his chair.]
It's warm... like all of my tension is trying to be there, but the rest of my body isn't having it. I know it's there, but I can ignore it for awhile.
I run a bit on the cold side. Vampire genetics and all. So the warmth is nice, really.
no subject
[ Oh. Alucard's legs aren't there anymore. He was enjoying leaning his head against them like an overgrown moth-cat. But no matter, he shuffles to lean against the chair instead and curls his big, dusty wings around himself like a blanket. It's still nice. ]
Yeah, sounds about right. Like the world hasn't stopped beating the shit out of you, but there's something padding the blows.
[ A short pause, because he maybe should have thought that metaphor through a little. He sighs and shakes his head. ]
I'm not going to make things right. This isn't me trying to make things right.
no subject
Something like that. I know it's temporary. God, it'll be terribly temporary for me, but it's nice for right now.
[Alucard looks at him.]
Things right. Like what?
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And oh. Oops. He'd been avoiding the topic of what happened back home, hadn't he? Except then he'd forgotten because he has the attention span of the stupid moth that he is right now. ]
Like anything at all. I'm not going to try to make it right that you lost- pretty much fucking everything. That I couldn't do my one goddamn job, and that you had to do it instead. And I'm not going to try to make it right that we left you. And if something happened because we left you, I'm not going to be making that right either. Not with a bit of blood.
[ Ah yes. If something happened. SMOOTH AS FUCK. ]
I mean- I'd try if you asked me to. Don't think I could manage it, but I'd try. But this isn't me trying. This is just me- you know. Wanting to get drunk with you. Because I like being around you and I like being drunk. That's it.
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Ah okay, they're going to talk about that. Alucard frowns to himself, then shakes his head a little before he leans his head onto Trevor's shoulder.]
...What happened with Dracula wasn't your fault. Or after.
[His tone is distant and hollow, the ache in his heart dull but there. If something happened because we left you. That hurts, but it isn't Trevor's fault. It's nobody's but his own foolishness.]
There's nothing anyone could do.
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[ But clearly they didn't. And- fuck, how the fuck does time work here. If he goes back and tries to return to the castle, how the fuck does that work? Best to assume there's no fixing it. At least then if he can then it's a nice surprise. ]
Doesn't matter, I suppose. Because like I said, this isn't pity or guilt or trying to buy you off with blood. It's important that you know that.
no subject
[But it's nothing but a pleasant idea, soured by what the truth of it is. Alucard shuts his eyes, feeling wretched, the softness of Iris making him want to crumble -- but he fiercely doesn't want to do that now. Not with Trevor. Wouldn't that make it worse?]
I didn't... think it particularly was. You aren't the type to waste things like pity.
no subject
[ He's ruined the hangout, hasn't he? Even through the haze of 'yes yes go make bad decisions' he can tell that much. ]
Fuck, I've brought the mood down. I just wanted to say that I'm not here out of some bullshit obligation. And I figured it'd be easy to come to the conclusion that I was. You know, since everything else I do is because of some bullshit obligation or another. I'm here because I want to be around you. I already fucked up the 'friends' thing once. Maybe more than once, too drunk to count, and I'm trying to do it better,
no subject
[Fortunately, Alucard doesn't seem much ruffled about it. Mostly, he's busy feeling bad for himself, but he's trying to pay attention to what Trevor is trying to say.]
But... I think I see what you're at least attempting to say. Maybe. Even if it's clear as mud.
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[ He doesn't sound the usual mixture of frustrated with both Alucard and himself, though. More just entertained by how own failings. Stumbling over words and failing and trying again carelessly and without much thought. ]
I can just shut up, if you like. Let you enjoy being drunk. I don't need to talk, s'nice just being around.
no subject
[There's a brief pause, and he opens an eye to peer at Trevor.]
What the fuck is this about sticky horses?
no subject
[ He laughs. ]
I'm going to need to find a hobby, just so I have something to talk to you about that isn't the finer points of how not to die at the hands of sticky horses or vampires. If I start learning how to- fuck, I don't know- knit? And I don't talk about anything other than how to make ugly scarves? Your fault.
no subject
[Anyway, Alucard is absolutely getting more comfortable against Trevor. If that were possible.]
Well, considering we're on an alien world with fantastic technology and people from several different realms and possibilities, I think you have the high possibility of finding something other than knitting. Just a guess.