[At first, he just blurts the words out, half-breathless and a little flustered. His scales warm again, as a touch of embarrassment washes over him — but then, almost tentatively, he discards bashfulness for something more sulky, letting his expression settle into a broody pout that almost manages to achieve petulance.]
I shouldn't have to share you. You're mine.
[It comes so easily, he finds, with the dragon's influence guiding him, and he manages a slight nod and a breathy ready without quite losing the act.]
[The admission makes him quiet for a moment, then he traces his palm over the warm scales. Delightful, actually.
Adrian smiles at him, sharp and more confident, especially now that he's been given permission.]
Maybe so. But, you... you're also mine.
[Out from the bag is a wide leather collar, gently lined on the inside with microfiber cloth to help keep it from biting into tender flesh. Without asking for permission further, he's slipping it around Jotaro's throat, tugging it closed, but not tight enough to keep him from breathing.]
[It occurs to him, as that wide weighty collar emerges from the bag in the grasp of Adrian's clever fingers, that there was no way Adrian could have known that he would be a dragon this Sanguis. He had no way of knowing they would even be doing this during Sanguis. It's just a coincidence that both of those things are true now, which means —
Which means he was thinking of a human neck when he bought it. A slender human neck, a soft bared throat — that was what he envisioned this thick heavy circlet of leather wrapping around, when he bought it. He didn't buy this collar for a dragon or for a wolf. He bought it for a human.
It makes him shiver, in a way that has nothing to do with heat or cold. This beast of a collar, he wanted to see his human wearing it.
He lets out a shuddery breath, swallowing to feel the pressure of his throat against the microfiber. It scares him a little, only — only, in a way he's never been scared before. As though when Adrian clips a leash to this collar and pulls, it's going to drag something out of him that he's never felt before.]
Why this one?
[He raises his chin and lowers it reflexively, still testing the new sensation of having such a wide band of leather below his chin, around his neck.]
[Adrian slowly sinks his knees onto the couch, one next to Jotaro's hip and the other between his legs. He smiles down at him, tracing his fingers over how the collar rests against his throat.]
When I thought about it, I wanted something decorative. Hard, but beautiful. A bit like you.
[And...he likes that, he decides after a touch of glassy-eyed reflection, caught up in the juxtaposition of being able to see Adrian's fingers moving across the leather but unable to feel a bit of it through the width and material of the collar. He likes that it's heavy. It makes it impossible to forget it's there. Impossible to forget who put it there.]
You couldn't yank me around on something made of lace, anyway. Isn't that what this is for?
[He raises his chin again, then lowers it, unaware of how it makes him look just a touch more animal by comparison, like a horse testing its bit.]
Can't bite me through it, either. Isn't that just kind of like punishing yourself?
[No, it's not. It's absolutely a downside for him, the prospect of being cut off from Adrian's teeth. And — fuck, the thought of having to earn the privilege, that's kind of hot, too.]
Only if you decide not to behave yourself, balaur.
[It's delightful watching Jotaro test it out, see how strong it is. How strong his Jotaro is, even. He strokes his hands down Jotaro's cheeks, down to his neck where the collar rests, and then settles his hand onto his chest, sitting down finally onto his leg.]
I could tear it off with my teeth. Bite you elsewhere.
But I think you want me to bite you there. Where everyone can see who you belong to.
Don't worry. We'll get there. But we should work on your obedience, shouldn't we?
[And then finally, finally he does clip on a lead to the collar, perfectly black with decorative studs running down the length of it. Adrian winds the leash around his hand, and he gazes down at Jotaro, smiling, letting his fangs show.]
[Already, he can feel his breath catching, his heart rate skipping a beat as it starts to speed up. He's always been wired a little differently when it comes to Sanguis; in him, that quality of possessiveness swings both ways. As much as he wants to possess when the red moon is in the sky, there's something deeper in him that wants to be claimed just as much.
And hell, nobody does claiming like Adrian, bearing his weight down onto him, stealing his heat, touching his face. He's barely even done anything and already Jotaro feels overheated, his heartbeat drumming in his chest.]
Oh.
[He hears the click of the lead clipping on, watches the length of it wrap over and over around Adrian's palm. He's not pulling on it, but the implication is there, the faintest hint of tension tugging the collar just a sliver away from his skin.
[Without even putting his ear to Jotaro's chest, he can hear his heartbeat going, pounding in his chest. It's a beautiful sound, one he's never tired of. His enthusiasm, how alive he is.
Adrian pulls very slightly on the leash, leaning in and brushing his lips barely against Jotaro's mouth.]
And parade you around the city? Ah, perhaps. And they'd know your rightful place.
But I want to keep you to myself more. Only I deserve to see you this way.
[Sliding off of the couch, he gestures for Jotaro.] Kneel, balaur.
[The idea of people, just generally people, looking at him like this doesn't altogether bother him, he finds. He's never been one to put a lot of stock in what people think of him; people can fuck off with their opinions and keep them to themselves.
But then he starts thinking about specific people. Not just nameless faces, but ones he knows. What if Avdol saw him walking around like this, leashed up like a dog? What if Jill saw it? What about that girl, Constance? What if Trevor Belmont saw him paraded around like Adrian's pet?
What if Jolyne saw him? What then?
His face goes hot in an instant, burning beneath his skin, and he tries to take stock of the tempest of emotions those thoughts have stirred up in him. People, general, he doesn't seem to mind so much. It's when it turns to specifics, to recognizable faces, that his stomach starts to twist.
Adrian's not going to do something he doesn't want, he reminds himself, but he's the only one who has any idea of what he does and doesn't want right now, and even then, he's still learning as he goes.
Okay, so. The collar, he likes. The leash is a little humiliating, but the kind of humiliating that makes him shiver. The thought of people, generally, seeing him is...squirming, but not quite bad. The idea of people, specific people, seeing him is nauseating.
So. Okay. Okay...what comes next, then?
Next, he decides after a moment, he wants to see what happens when he pushes back. What will Adrian do if he forces his hand? He wants to play this game and lose, doesn't he? Then he's got to do something to lose at, to begin with.
So he draws a slow breath, and he does get up off the couch, but he stands and doesn't kneel, and looks Adrian in the eyes.]
Make me.
[It's a challenge on its face, but underneath it's an invitation. Permission. He hopes Adrian will recognize it for both.]
[There's a curious look on Adrian's face, his brow arching as he looks at Jotaro. He recognizes this for what it is, but he still has to consider it for a moment before he himself feels ready.
Jotaro likes his strength. Loves all of him, vampire and human. That... that is something he must remember. He doesn't need to hold back as much.
So quickly, his leg comes out, hooking behind Jotaro's knee and aiming to throw him off balance. In addition, his hand comes up to Jotaro's shoulder to shove him down to his knees.]
Like this, balaur.
Now. Stand up, and try again. We'll do this until you get it right.
[Oh, god. Oh, hell. Oh, fuck. It's not even the first time in their acquaintance that Adrian has done that particular move, sending him sprawling by sweeping his legs out from under him, but that doesn't mean he's any more ready for it now than he was then.
With a grunt, he's on his knees, Adrian's hand firm on his shoulder and tension added to the leash from the movement. Adrian is so strong, and deceptively so; with how lithe and statuesque he is, it's easy to forget the supernatural power within him, how easy it is for him to even push someone as big as him around.
If he fought Adrian, he would lose. And nothing bad would happen to him.
Unexpectedly, a ragged laugh escapes him, and he pushes himself slowly back up to his feet, squaring his shoulders and widening his stance just a fraction, to better keep himself upright.]
[Adrian watches him, then lets out an amused huff, shaking his head.]
Evidently, you're a slow learner.
Fine, then.
[Suddenly, he's pulling on the leash. Not hard enough to do any damage to Jotaro, but strong enough that it cannot be denied as he pulls him down toward the floor. Once Jotaro is forced to his hands and knees, Adrian shoves his foot down against his spine, pinning him there.]
Tell me when you feel like you've gotten the lesson. I can wait.
[For the second time, he hits the ground; this time, he's knocked forward onto his hands as well as his knees, and Adrian's leg comes up to hold him there for good measure.
The grit of the carpet against his palms feels surreal. It's like he's suddenly hyperaware of his whole body, all the little sensations he doesn't usually register. There's pressure on his throat. There's a weight on his spine. He couldn't get up if he tried.
Does he like this? He doesn't altogether know. Maybe that's why he has to keep going, to find out.]
Feels like I'm a footrest.
[He turns his head a little, closing his eyes and feeling the resistance as the movement makes the collar tug. Adrian's, he thinks, and that alone makes him shiver again.]
Maybe that's all you would be good for at this rate. Broken, until I can prop my feet up on you.
[It's... so very silly, but the little dog noise makes him shiver a little. For all of the strength and power he has over Jotaro, it isn't Adrian in control, he thinks idly. It's Jotaro, it will always be Jotaro. He knows he would do anything for him.
And right now, he wants Adrian to be strong. So he will.]
Get up. [Adrian slides his foot off.] And try again.
[Broken. There's something about the word that sticks in his mind, circling around and around as the weight pinning him to the ground lifts off, and the expectation of his obedience hangs in the air between them. Broken, when something is broken it's useless — and no, no, he doesn't like that, that's not good, that's digging up something inside him that he doesn't want to let out.
Broken things are damaged. He feels that way sometimes, still. Like he's only fooling himself with the little life he's made here, the motions he's going through. Like Trevor said, when you follow the rules it just works. He feels like that, still sometimes waking up at night and staring at the ceiling waiting for it to fall on him. Falling off his motorcycle because he lost himself for a second.
He gets his legs under him, and starts to stand up.
But sometimes broken things are just...tamed. Something wild, something reckless, brought back into alignment. Breaking a horse so it won't throw a rider. Breaking down walls.
(Is broken. Feels broken. Wants to be broken.)
When he stands, he lifts his chin and looks at Adrian, searching his expression for the answer to a question he can't even quantify. Making sure you know how strong I am, he'd said when they'd first talked about this, and as he looks at him he thinks of how it feels to be Sanguis, how it must feel to be a vampire and love something so much that it makes even Sanguis's possessiveness feel like a drop in the ocean, and he thinks of how it feels when Adrian wraps his arms around him, when he nips and bites and soothes in his ear I have you, I'll take care of you, let me worry about you.
It's a heavy collar, around his neck. Too heavy to ignore. Too heavy to forget that it's Adrian at the other end of his leash, keeping him safer than he's ever been.
Broken. Not yet — but something inside him fractures, a hairline crack beginning to spread through something buried deep and locked away.
He doesn't know yet if he likes this. But maybe he needs it.]
...Adrian.
[He holds his breath, and closes his eyes. Like when he was blind, and there was only Adrian, and he felt safe. He doesn't need to see. Why should he? Adrian is here, right there at the other end of his leash.
Slowly, slowly, he sinks down onto his knees, and then forward onto his hands, until he can feel the scrape of the carpet along his palms once again.]
[For a fleeting moment, he wonders if it's too much. He's ready to stop everything at a moment's notice, but Star never reveals himself. So, even when hearing his name, he assumes that everything is fine so far.
He has to trust that Jotaro knows is limits.]
Good.
[When he sees Jotaro go to his hands and knees, Adrian is crouching at his side. A hand strokes through Jotaro's hair, adoring the thick curls. His lips brush over his temple, down his cheek.]
Very good. Just like that, balaur. I knew you could do it.
[He guides his face up so that Adrian can press for a proper kiss. It's open-mouthed, loving, but he's careful with his fangs. He wants to praise Jotaro, but not give him everything just yet.
Let him hope for more.]
We're going to walk to the bedroom now. And you will be down there at your proper place. Understood?
[Ah. There it is, he discovers with a slow shudder, keeping his eyes closed so that every sensation stays a surprise. There's the missing piece, the part that answers that nagging question he keeps asking himself: do I like this?
There's the keystone that makes it fall into place. When he does what he's told, he gets rewarded. It goes both ways; it's not just compliance out of avoidance. It's about breaking down that impulse to resist, and maybe there are some things he resists that could use a little breaking.
The hand in his hair feels good, feels reassuring. The kisses do, too, and he keeps his eyes closed to better experience them through touch alone, letting his world and his thoughts narrow down, for the moment, to just Adrian.
That. Yeah, he likes that.]
...Okay.
[If he thinks too hard about what he's being asked to do — Adrian says walk, but only one of them is going to be walking, he knows that full well, he's being told to crawl — it'll make him edgy. Maybe he'll feel stupid or embarrassed. Maybe his stomach will twist.
But if he doesn't think, then there's room to focus on what comes after. When he does what's asked of him, he gets a reward. That's easier. That's much, much better.
So he puts his head down, and he keeps his eyes shut, and he waits for the tug of the leash at his throat.]
[One last kiss goes to Jotaro's brow, and he's standing up. The grip of the leash in his hand remains tight, but he stops being rough for the moment. Instead, he tugs gently, indicating that he wants to go now.
And he can't help but watch. It isn't how obedient Jotaro is, it's the careful and terribly delicate balance of power there is here. Vampires would love to lord over their pets, purely out of the power dynamic and little else. But he loves Jotaro, truly loves him, and wants to show him that strength he desires.
[Adrian never told him to keep his eyes closed, at least not yet. That's something he's doing on his own, testing how it feels. And as he does, he discovers with some surprise that he actually feels less awkward doing it, and wonders why.
It doesn't take him long to figure out. Stripping away his sight takes away his easiest immediate gauge of the reality of the things he's doing, limiting the most informative of his senses. It pushes him back further into his own head, and if he wants to know things about his surroundings, then he has to focus more intently on them to work it out; he can't just look. And it means he has to trust more. He's more dependent, without his eyes. He couldn't possibly hope to keep up with what he's being asked to do without entrusting some part of himself to Adrian along the way.
Case in point: he's walked the path to his bedroom a thousand times before now, but doing it on all fours with his eyes closed is suddenly daunting. He starts to lag a little, not out of reluctance but to put a touch more tension onto the leash, so that he can better feel where it's guiding him as he goes.
And the fact that their travel becomes a puzzle to solve means that he's so preoccupied with doing it right, he forgets all about the notion of feeling stupid or silly. He doesn't have the ability to focus on something like that, not when he's busy with making sure he doesn't walk headfirst into a wall or miss a turn and choke himself on the leash.
He goes slow, but soon enough the warmth in the air changes — that's right, his bedroom is always a little warmer than the rest of the apartment, it's just insulated better — and he crawls along the carpet until he feels the lead go slack and his shoulder lightly bump against the side of the mattress.
Kneel, Adrian said. Kneel means upright, no hands. So he shuffles, and he tries to orient himself in alignment with where he thinks the mattress is, and then he gets up on his knees and sits back onto his heels, head lowered and heart pounding and waiting.]
[Would it be cruel to command Jotaro to open his eyes? Perhaps, and he decides to leave it be, instead watch him as he gently guides him to the bedroom. As soon as he kneels obediently, Adrian is crouching down to cup his face and kiss his face tenderly.]
Good. [Another kiss to his cheek.] Good job, Jojo. Good boy.
[Fingers find his hair again, petting him, stroking through those lovely thick locks. He adores how it is, thick and curling at the ends.]
[It's simple, it's just so simple. He does as he's told and then he gets to feel like this, fingers carding through his hair and soft kisses against his face. He doesn't have to worry about anything, there's no schedules and no demands and no peril. He can just keep his eyes closed, and kneel, and breathe.
Which is why it takes him a minute to rouse enough to realize that Adrian asked him a question, and not just an easy question, but one he actually has to think about. It makes him grumble softly, his eyes finally sliding halfway open to tease a glimpse of the green irises behind them as he's pulled back up to the surface long enough to think.]
S'nice. Like...after we went in those pods. When you took care of me.
[When I let you take care of me, he means to say, but doesn't exactly realize that he'd left words out in the process. A moment or two later, he's a little more coherent still.]
I want you to show me what you would've done if I hadn't listened. I just...want to see what it would have been. Can we do that? That's what I want.
It was my pleasure to be there for you. And it always will be.
[Adrian's voice is warm and loving, his eyes full of absolute adoration as he looks at Jotaro. Slowly, he rolls his thumbs over Jotaro's cheeks, considering his request.]
Yes. We can do that.
Just let me know when you're ready. I won't do anything to hurt you, but I will use my strength.
[He swallows back a lump in his throat, feeling the collar press against his neck as he does. No one has ever looked at him the way that Adrian looks at him, so utterly rapt with love and fascination. He didn't know it was possible to be loved so much, but here it is, right before his eyes — more adoration than any human heart could hope to hold.
He nods slowly, tipping his head into the touch, and lets out a long slow breath that takes with it any remaining tension that might have been left in his shoulders.]
Show me. I'm ready.
[He nods again, a little more deliberately this time.]
[One last tender kiss goes to Jotaro's forehead. He gives him a moment to bask in that kindness before Adrian is inhaling air slowly, then exhaling, as if he himself were a dragon. As if he weighed nothing, Adrian picks up and hauls Jotaro onto the bed, forcing him onto his back. Adrian crawls over him, shoving his hands back, pinning him down.]
I expect an apology out of you.
[Slowly, he drags his hips over Jotaro's, but gives nothing else. Instead, he keeps using his strength to pin him. Adrian's hair spills over his shoulders like liquid gold as leans over Jotaro.]
[...All right, so maybe he lied; there's no such thing as being ready for the way Adrian snatches him up like he's a ragdoll and presses him down into the mattress. Despite himself, a strangled noise escapes his collared throat as his arms are pinned, as weight bears down on him to hold him there. Of course he struggles, testing the power of Adrian's hold, and of course it does absolutely nothing.
Obeying had surprised him, with how good it had felt to empty his mind and put himself wholly in Adrian's hands. This is, to some degree, just another facet of the same sensation — the freedom to struggle and fight and accept that he's always going to lose in the end.
And he does. He twists and he squirms, and when their hips rub together he gasps for a breath that isn't nearly enough, and it does nothing. He could thrash and fight all he wants, and none of it would mean anything.
And, he recognizes deep in the back of his mind, with one word, he could stop it. This, he's never without the power to stop. He could call Star, and Adrian would stop. Pinned, trapped, trembling, caught — he's still the one holding the reins.]
'Cause I'm not sorry.
[He bucks his hips, squirming, like he's trying to unbalance Adrian and throw him off, while knowing full well how irrelevant a protest it will prove to be.]
What do you want me to do, lick your boots? For— aah! — f-forget it...
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[At first, he just blurts the words out, half-breathless and a little flustered. His scales warm again, as a touch of embarrassment washes over him — but then, almost tentatively, he discards bashfulness for something more sulky, letting his expression settle into a broody pout that almost manages to achieve petulance.]
I shouldn't have to share you. You're mine.
[It comes so easily, he finds, with the dragon's influence guiding him, and he manages a slight nod and a breathy ready without quite losing the act.]
You should be paying attention to me.
no subject
Adrian smiles at him, sharp and more confident, especially now that he's been given permission.]
Maybe so. But, you... you're also mine.
[Out from the bag is a wide leather collar, gently lined on the inside with microfiber cloth to help keep it from biting into tender flesh. Without asking for permission further, he's slipping it around Jotaro's throat, tugging it closed, but not tight enough to keep him from breathing.]
Mm. It looks good on you.
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Which means he was thinking of a human neck when he bought it. A slender human neck, a soft bared throat — that was what he envisioned this thick heavy circlet of leather wrapping around, when he bought it. He didn't buy this collar for a dragon or for a wolf. He bought it for a human.
It makes him shiver, in a way that has nothing to do with heat or cold. This beast of a collar, he wanted to see his human wearing it.
He lets out a shuddery breath, swallowing to feel the pressure of his throat against the microfiber. It scares him a little, only — only, in a way he's never been scared before. As though when Adrian clips a leash to this collar and pulls, it's going to drag something out of him that he's never felt before.]
Why this one?
[He raises his chin and lowers it reflexively, still testing the new sensation of having such a wide band of leather below his chin, around his neck.]
I would've thought you'd pick something more...
[Hmm. What's the word a troublemaker would use?]
...frilly.
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[Adrian slowly sinks his knees onto the couch, one next to Jotaro's hip and the other between his legs. He smiles down at him, tracing his fingers over how the collar rests against his throat.]
When I thought about it, I wanted something decorative. Hard, but beautiful. A bit like you.
But I could always get you something with lace.
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[And...he likes that, he decides after a touch of glassy-eyed reflection, caught up in the juxtaposition of being able to see Adrian's fingers moving across the leather but unable to feel a bit of it through the width and material of the collar. He likes that it's heavy. It makes it impossible to forget it's there. Impossible to forget who put it there.]
You couldn't yank me around on something made of lace, anyway. Isn't that what this is for?
[He raises his chin again, then lowers it, unaware of how it makes him look just a touch more animal by comparison, like a horse testing its bit.]
Can't bite me through it, either. Isn't that just kind of like punishing yourself?
[No, it's not. It's absolutely a downside for him, the prospect of being cut off from Adrian's teeth. And — fuck, the thought of having to earn the privilege, that's kind of hot, too.]
no subject
[It's delightful watching Jotaro test it out, see how strong it is. How strong his Jotaro is, even. He strokes his hands down Jotaro's cheeks, down to his neck where the collar rests, and then settles his hand onto his chest, sitting down finally onto his leg.]
I could tear it off with my teeth. Bite you elsewhere.
But I think you want me to bite you there. Where everyone can see who you belong to.
Don't worry. We'll get there. But we should work on your obedience, shouldn't we?
[And then finally, finally he does clip on a lead to the collar, perfectly black with decorative studs running down the length of it. Adrian winds the leash around his hand, and he gazes down at Jotaro, smiling, letting his fangs show.]
no subject
And hell, nobody does claiming like Adrian, bearing his weight down onto him, stealing his heat, touching his face. He's barely even done anything and already Jotaro feels overheated, his heartbeat drumming in his chest.]
Oh.
[He hears the click of the lead clipping on, watches the length of it wrap over and over around Adrian's palm. He's not pulling on it, but the implication is there, the faintest hint of tension tugging the collar just a sliver away from his skin.
He swallows, hard this time.]
What're you gonna do, take me for a walk?
no subject
Adrian pulls very slightly on the leash, leaning in and brushing his lips barely against Jotaro's mouth.]
And parade you around the city? Ah, perhaps. And they'd know your rightful place.
But I want to keep you to myself more. Only I deserve to see you this way.
[Sliding off of the couch, he gestures for Jotaro.] Kneel, balaur.
no subject
But then he starts thinking about specific people. Not just nameless faces, but ones he knows. What if Avdol saw him walking around like this, leashed up like a dog? What if Jill saw it? What about that girl, Constance? What if Trevor Belmont saw him paraded around like Adrian's pet?
What if Jolyne saw him? What then?
His face goes hot in an instant, burning beneath his skin, and he tries to take stock of the tempest of emotions those thoughts have stirred up in him. People, general, he doesn't seem to mind so much. It's when it turns to specifics, to recognizable faces, that his stomach starts to twist.
Adrian's not going to do something he doesn't want, he reminds himself, but he's the only one who has any idea of what he does and doesn't want right now, and even then, he's still learning as he goes.
Okay, so. The collar, he likes. The leash is a little humiliating, but the kind of humiliating that makes him shiver. The thought of people, generally, seeing him is...squirming, but not quite bad. The idea of people, specific people, seeing him is nauseating.
So. Okay. Okay...what comes next, then?
Next, he decides after a moment, he wants to see what happens when he pushes back. What will Adrian do if he forces his hand? He wants to play this game and lose, doesn't he? Then he's got to do something to lose at, to begin with.
So he draws a slow breath, and he does get up off the couch, but he stands and doesn't kneel, and looks Adrian in the eyes.]
Make me.
[It's a challenge on its face, but underneath it's an invitation. Permission. He hopes Adrian will recognize it for both.]
no subject
Jotaro likes his strength. Loves all of him, vampire and human. That... that is something he must remember. He doesn't need to hold back as much.
So quickly, his leg comes out, hooking behind Jotaro's knee and aiming to throw him off balance. In addition, his hand comes up to Jotaro's shoulder to shove him down to his knees.]
Like this, balaur.
Now. Stand up, and try again. We'll do this until you get it right.
no subject
With a grunt, he's on his knees, Adrian's hand firm on his shoulder and tension added to the leash from the movement. Adrian is so strong, and deceptively so; with how lithe and statuesque he is, it's easy to forget the supernatural power within him, how easy it is for him to even push someone as big as him around.
If he fought Adrian, he would lose. And nothing bad would happen to him.
Unexpectedly, a ragged laugh escapes him, and he pushes himself slowly back up to his feet, squaring his shoulders and widening his stance just a fraction, to better keep himself upright.]
Sorry. I think I missed that.
[His heart is racing, and it feels good.]
You might have to show me again.
no subject
Evidently, you're a slow learner.
Fine, then.
[Suddenly, he's pulling on the leash. Not hard enough to do any damage to Jotaro, but strong enough that it cannot be denied as he pulls him down toward the floor. Once Jotaro is forced to his hands and knees, Adrian shoves his foot down against his spine, pinning him there.]
Tell me when you feel like you've gotten the lesson. I can wait.
no subject
The grit of the carpet against his palms feels surreal. It's like he's suddenly hyperaware of his whole body, all the little sensations he doesn't usually register. There's pressure on his throat. There's a weight on his spine. He couldn't get up if he tried.
Does he like this? He doesn't altogether know. Maybe that's why he has to keep going, to find out.]
Feels like I'm a footrest.
[He turns his head a little, closing his eyes and feeling the resistance as the movement makes the collar tug. Adrian's, he thinks, and that alone makes him shiver again.]
Bow wow.
no subject
[It's... so very silly, but the little dog noise makes him shiver a little. For all of the strength and power he has over Jotaro, it isn't Adrian in control, he thinks idly. It's Jotaro, it will always be Jotaro. He knows he would do anything for him.
And right now, he wants Adrian to be strong. So he will.]
Get up. [Adrian slides his foot off.] And try again.
no subject
Broken things are damaged. He feels that way sometimes, still. Like he's only fooling himself with the little life he's made here, the motions he's going through. Like Trevor said, when you follow the rules it just works. He feels like that, still sometimes waking up at night and staring at the ceiling waiting for it to fall on him. Falling off his motorcycle because he lost himself for a second.
He gets his legs under him, and starts to stand up.
But sometimes broken things are just...tamed. Something wild, something reckless, brought back into alignment. Breaking a horse so it won't throw a rider. Breaking down walls.
(Is broken. Feels broken. Wants to be broken.)
When he stands, he lifts his chin and looks at Adrian, searching his expression for the answer to a question he can't even quantify. Making sure you know how strong I am, he'd said when they'd first talked about this, and as he looks at him he thinks of how it feels to be Sanguis, how it must feel to be a vampire and love something so much that it makes even Sanguis's possessiveness feel like a drop in the ocean, and he thinks of how it feels when Adrian wraps his arms around him, when he nips and bites and soothes in his ear I have you, I'll take care of you, let me worry about you.
It's a heavy collar, around his neck. Too heavy to ignore. Too heavy to forget that it's Adrian at the other end of his leash, keeping him safer than he's ever been.
Broken. Not yet — but something inside him fractures, a hairline crack beginning to spread through something buried deep and locked away.
He doesn't know yet if he likes this. But maybe he needs it.]
...Adrian.
[He holds his breath, and closes his eyes. Like when he was blind, and there was only Adrian, and he felt safe. He doesn't need to see. Why should he? Adrian is here, right there at the other end of his leash.
Slowly, slowly, he sinks down onto his knees, and then forward onto his hands, until he can feel the scrape of the carpet along his palms once again.]
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He has to trust that Jotaro knows is limits.]
Good.
[When he sees Jotaro go to his hands and knees, Adrian is crouching at his side. A hand strokes through Jotaro's hair, adoring the thick curls. His lips brush over his temple, down his cheek.]
Very good. Just like that, balaur. I knew you could do it.
[He guides his face up so that Adrian can press for a proper kiss. It's open-mouthed, loving, but he's careful with his fangs. He wants to praise Jotaro, but not give him everything just yet.
Let him hope for more.]
We're going to walk to the bedroom now. And you will be down there at your proper place. Understood?
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There's the keystone that makes it fall into place. When he does what he's told, he gets rewarded. It goes both ways; it's not just compliance out of avoidance. It's about breaking down that impulse to resist, and maybe there are some things he resists that could use a little breaking.
The hand in his hair feels good, feels reassuring. The kisses do, too, and he keeps his eyes closed to better experience them through touch alone, letting his world and his thoughts narrow down, for the moment, to just Adrian.
That. Yeah, he likes that.]
...Okay.
[If he thinks too hard about what he's being asked to do — Adrian says walk, but only one of them is going to be walking, he knows that full well, he's being told to crawl — it'll make him edgy. Maybe he'll feel stupid or embarrassed. Maybe his stomach will twist.
But if he doesn't think, then there's room to focus on what comes after. When he does what's asked of him, he gets a reward. That's easier. That's much, much better.
So he puts his head down, and he keeps his eyes shut, and he waits for the tug of the leash at his throat.]
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[One last kiss goes to Jotaro's brow, and he's standing up. The grip of the leash in his hand remains tight, but he stops being rough for the moment. Instead, he tugs gently, indicating that he wants to go now.
And he can't help but watch. It isn't how obedient Jotaro is, it's the careful and terribly delicate balance of power there is here. Vampires would love to lord over their pets, purely out of the power dynamic and little else. But he loves Jotaro, truly loves him, and wants to show him that strength he desires.
The leash might as well be on Adrian's throat.]
Kneel by the bed for me.
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It doesn't take him long to figure out. Stripping away his sight takes away his easiest immediate gauge of the reality of the things he's doing, limiting the most informative of his senses. It pushes him back further into his own head, and if he wants to know things about his surroundings, then he has to focus more intently on them to work it out; he can't just look. And it means he has to trust more. He's more dependent, without his eyes. He couldn't possibly hope to keep up with what he's being asked to do without entrusting some part of himself to Adrian along the way.
Case in point: he's walked the path to his bedroom a thousand times before now, but doing it on all fours with his eyes closed is suddenly daunting. He starts to lag a little, not out of reluctance but to put a touch more tension onto the leash, so that he can better feel where it's guiding him as he goes.
And the fact that their travel becomes a puzzle to solve means that he's so preoccupied with doing it right, he forgets all about the notion of feeling stupid or silly. He doesn't have the ability to focus on something like that, not when he's busy with making sure he doesn't walk headfirst into a wall or miss a turn and choke himself on the leash.
He goes slow, but soon enough the warmth in the air changes — that's right, his bedroom is always a little warmer than the rest of the apartment, it's just insulated better — and he crawls along the carpet until he feels the lead go slack and his shoulder lightly bump against the side of the mattress.
Kneel, Adrian said. Kneel means upright, no hands. So he shuffles, and he tries to orient himself in alignment with where he thinks the mattress is, and then he gets up on his knees and sits back onto his heels, head lowered and heart pounding and waiting.]
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Good. [Another kiss to his cheek.] Good job, Jojo. Good boy.
[Fingers find his hair again, petting him, stroking through those lovely thick locks. He adores how it is, thick and curling at the ends.]
How should I reward you? What do you want?
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Which is why it takes him a minute to rouse enough to realize that Adrian asked him a question, and not just an easy question, but one he actually has to think about. It makes him grumble softly, his eyes finally sliding halfway open to tease a glimpse of the green irises behind them as he's pulled back up to the surface long enough to think.]
S'nice. Like...after we went in those pods. When you took care of me.
[When I let you take care of me, he means to say, but doesn't exactly realize that he'd left words out in the process. A moment or two later, he's a little more coherent still.]
I want you to show me what you would've done if I hadn't listened. I just...want to see what it would have been. Can we do that? That's what I want.
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[Adrian's voice is warm and loving, his eyes full of absolute adoration as he looks at Jotaro. Slowly, he rolls his thumbs over Jotaro's cheeks, considering his request.]
Yes. We can do that.
Just let me know when you're ready. I won't do anything to hurt you, but I will use my strength.
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He nods slowly, tipping his head into the touch, and lets out a long slow breath that takes with it any remaining tension that might have been left in his shoulders.]
Show me. I'm ready.
[He nods again, a little more deliberately this time.]
It's okay. I know. I want to see it.
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[One last tender kiss goes to Jotaro's forehead. He gives him a moment to bask in that kindness before Adrian is inhaling air slowly, then exhaling, as if he himself were a dragon. As if he weighed nothing, Adrian picks up and hauls Jotaro onto the bed, forcing him onto his back. Adrian crawls over him, shoving his hands back, pinning him down.]
I expect an apology out of you.
[Slowly, he drags his hips over Jotaro's, but gives nothing else. Instead, he keeps using his strength to pin him. Adrian's hair spills over his shoulders like liquid gold as leans over Jotaro.]
But you don't look particularly sorry.
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Obeying had surprised him, with how good it had felt to empty his mind and put himself wholly in Adrian's hands. This is, to some degree, just another facet of the same sensation — the freedom to struggle and fight and accept that he's always going to lose in the end.
And he does. He twists and he squirms, and when their hips rub together he gasps for a breath that isn't nearly enough, and it does nothing. He could thrash and fight all he wants, and none of it would mean anything.
And, he recognizes deep in the back of his mind, with one word, he could stop it. This, he's never without the power to stop. He could call Star, and Adrian would stop. Pinned, trapped, trembling, caught — he's still the one holding the reins.]
'Cause I'm not sorry.
[He bucks his hips, squirming, like he's trying to unbalance Adrian and throw him off, while knowing full well how irrelevant a protest it will prove to be.]
What do you want me to do, lick your boots? For— aah! — f-forget it...
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